Affirmations are mantras that we repeat consciously to ourselves to create a desired outcome — “I am worthy,” or “I have everything my heart desires,” for example.
Anti-affirmations are what I call the negative subconscious beliefs that circulate in the backgrounds of our minds. These also create real-life outcomes, whether we want them to or not. To stop them from manifesting experiences that we don’t like, we must first identify what they are.
Below are 5 anti-affirmations that I had to unlearn — and I would bet money that you’ve told yourself at least one of them, too.
I need help. Can someone please tell me what “Whiteness” is?
People are saying that Whiteness is a pandemic, so I’m trying to figure out how to address it. My one request: pretend I’m like the 54% of U.S. adults who read below a 6th-grade level — I want to be able to explain Whiteness to them in very simple and precise language or else the concept will fly over their heads.
Maybe we can start with these questions:
If so, can you point it out to me?
Romantic relationships tend to start out fun and easy, so why do they eventually begin to feel like a chore?
Conventional wisdom would have us believe that it’s an inescapable fact of life that relationships are difficult. This perspective makes it easy to externalize the reasons for why that is. We start to feel like relationship complications are an inevitable condition outside of our control.
The truth of the matter is that relationships can be as simple as you want to make them. You just have to be willing to practice the following skills:
To know what you want in…
Conservatives’ war on anti-racist language is escalating
Yesterday, the Texas Public Policy Foundation’s Twitter account shared a bizarre cheat sheet of terms for parents to look out for in the quest to scourge schools of Critical Race Theory.
Among the worrisome words mentioned? “Liberation.”
The tweet was stunning in its blatant attack of language we use to describe some of the most basic aspects of identity in the U.S. The very word “identity” was even listed as suspicious. …
Don’t let the holy facade fool you
Some Christians are pluralists. They love Jesus and read the Bible, but they honor and affirm the validity of religions other than their own. They see their faith as personal.
Other Christians are totalitarians. They believe that Christianity is the only true religion and that all others are invalid. They see their faith as political.
These are the kinds of people I call Christian supremacists.
Their elitist ideology centers on the idea that access to God and Heaven is exclusive to Christianity. They are convinced that all non-Christians are “unbelievers” destined for Hell…
Get unstuck from your past and find meaning in your mistakes
Everyone struggles with shame — that toxic mix of guilt, embarrassment, and inferiority that can turn a social butterfly into a reclusive shell.
Shame is the most powerful, master emotion. It’s the fear that we’re not good enough. — Brené Brown
Sometimes we feel shame for what we’ve done. Sometimes we feel shame for who we are. No matter why we feel it, it is always counterproductive.
Many of us are aware that shame isn’t helpful, but the cognitive feedback loop of self-punishment can be extremely powerful and difficult…
I don’t think he realized how “revealing” his song would be
Matthew West is an award-winning music artist who just released a song that he describes as “silly” and “lighthearted.”
To others like myself, however, it speaks volumes about the dark side of conservative purity culture.
The little ditty is called “Modest is Hottest,” and it is quite cringe.
Let’s unpack why…
Dear daughter, it’s me, your father
I think it’s time we had a talk
The boys are coming ‘round ’cause you’re beautiful
And it’s all your mother’s fault
And I’ve been trying hard to raise you up right
No drinking, no smoking, no…
4 reasons why they might — and why that matters
Jesus, queer? Many Christians today would surely call it blasphemy to even consider the question.
And to be clear, though some theologians argue that Jesus was gay, that’s not exactly what I’m here to debate. I’m just wondering this: if Jesus returned in human form with the same personality and mannerisms that defined him 2,000 years ago, what would Christians think of him? I have a sneaking suspicion a lot of Evangelical conservatives would treat him in the same way they do people who identify with the rainbow flag.
Unlearning these was a major part of my journey to freedom
Here’s something I’ve learned as a social justice advocate: systemic change is just as much about changing harmful beliefs as it is about changing harmful policies. If not more so.
Among the most powerfully oppressive belief systems that I’ve had to dismantle within myself is the capitalism-based neoliberal economic model. I learned some of its tenets explicitly in school, while other concepts were socially conditioned. For me, these bred a scarcity mindset and fear of a darkly distorted dog-eat-dog world that was spiritually toxic and emotionally draining.
Dear God, we come to you because humanity is going through a valley of darkness and despair right now. We see it every day on FOX News, and we know you see it too.
Lord, people on Twitter and in the fake liberal media are saying their pain is due to things like poverty, disease, state-sanctioned violence, and climate extremes, but we, your children, know the true source of their grief: they do not worship the one, true King. Not Donald Trump— although he’s a close second — but our Heavenly King, Christ Jesus.
We know that if the world…